I've had a fabulous morning so far. I woke up feeling good, excited about my day, styled my hair just right and prepared my to-do list for the day. My to-do list included meeting up with a friend for lunch. If I haven't mentioned it yet, I absolutely love food. I was chatting with my friend by phone regarding our dining choices when we somehow began to discuss where he took his last date for dinner. Within the discussion he referred to her style of dress, her hair, and how she walked; he's a very observant guy, and he then made a statement that just made my stomach churn. He said she wasn't as pretty as he thought she was. She turned out to be ugly in person. Break!
There's that word "ugly". Ugly vs. beautiful. How do we individually or collectively determine what is or is not ugly? How do we decide what is or is not beautiful? If we think about the word ugly, we know it means frightful, hideous, offensive or unpleasant to any sense. That means if we hear it, see it, or smell it, we can determine whether or not the person or the object is ugly. To understand ugly or for ugly to exist, we have to have beauty and it has to be defined in some way with boundaries, criteria, and expectations. Do you agree? I'm not trying to be politically correct or self-righteous but I believe in the saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and that what we find attractive or ugly to be subjective.
I need someone, anyone to sound out here. Why do we use the term "ugly" so loosely? Do we really understand what we're saying? I need to understand how as a society we have managed to put people in a box and label them one or the other. Ugly vs. beautiful. I need someone to break down the criteria used to affix such a label.
Until next time. Have a latte!
Caffeinated Beauty
I think that we can sometimes use the word ugly out of true context. When someone labels someone else ugly, initially, we can derive a few things: They are not attracted to them; They are not that person's type; They are definitely not interested in pursuing anything more than friendship with that person, if even friendship. People tend to get offended when they hear someone describe someone else as ugly but it's only their truth. It's what they feel. A feeling geared toward someone's outer appearance. In the end, we all act as if we don't want people to judge us for that anyway. We want someone who loves and appreciates us for who we are within. I for one have looked at someone who I thought was ugly. And that meant I was not attracted to her, she was definitely not my type and I had absolutely no plans of pursuing anything other than friendship with her. I spent the next 10 years with her. So remember, we may say what we initially think about a person's outer appearance but it doesn't mean that we are too shallow to see within. ~ D.
ReplyDeleteThank you R&B for your response. I commend you on being able to look past physical indifferences and see qualities within.
ReplyDeleteReaders: Why do we call someone ugly when in fact everyone looks different? Is it just word choice or is there something deeper going on here?
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